Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

Mom of a small child, many consider the heroine of a continuous mimic photo shoot.After all, babies - this is a complete emotion, judging about parenting by someone else's posts in social networks. But in social networks, few people share the truth: motherhood is hard work, especially in the first year.For some reason, we are ashamed to admit the obvious thing: you can be tired of motherhood, tired of unbearable. Katerina Kobernik, Deputy Director of the 1 + 1 Media News Department, touched upon this serious topic in her column.


Modern society can forgive women workaholism, success and promiscuous sex, but not the truth about its "main purpose".
How many serious complexes and taboos do modern women have? They can work. Lot. They can earn more than men, have sex without serious intentions and sentiments, may not be able to cook and defiantly refuse marriage.You can vote, drive and use foul language long ago and by default. The latter is certainly not the best habit; it upsets only the moms of the “girls”, but does not shock others.

But there is one thing in which to admit as many as emancipated, successful, independent, and simply good women is impossible / uncomfortable / embarrassing.

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Women can not say that the first months or years of motherhood were not their joy. And more specifically, they were tormented, horrified, and seemed to be the end of a long and happy life.
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One day, a friend of mine who had given birth to her first desired child from her beloved husband offered to start an honest heading about motherhood on the site. Honest in the sense that there you can openly say: if after the hundredth sleepless night at 5 in the morning you want to throw the child out the window, you do not need to hate yourself and be afraid. You are a normal person and mother. She, of course, exaggerated with “throwing away”, but the essence is approximately as follows.

In Ukraine - the cult of children. He was in the Soviet Union, where "all the best is for children," and before him. If you ask the “peresіchny” Ukrainian to finish the phrase “the main purpose of a woman is ...”, the overwhelming majority will say “motherhood”.Not loving children is at least suspicious, as a rule - reprehensible. Do not go crazy about the clock of total happiness after the birth of his - almost a sin. Because a child is a “miracle”, “he has such tiny legs” and “look at my father's / mother’s eyes”. You can't argue with that. But let's take seriously the fact that it is going to be a burden to the most beautiful and beloved creature unconditionally.

There is one thing in which to admit as many as emancipated, successful, independent, and simply good women is impossible / uncomfortable / embarrassing.
Firstly, total physical attachment to another person (the majority, who chose breastfeeding), sleepless nights, which in the second or third month turn into nervous breakdowns, asociality, movement along the house - pediatrician - street - house triangle, nervousness, because that "God forbid something happens to him / her." Dirty head, bruises under the eyes, comfortable and at the same time creepy wardrobe under the conditional name “walking with Mania / Vanya / Tanya” - the faithful companions of the infant's mother by default.
Someone is confronted with everything at once, someone with calm children - partially.But the fact remains that in the first year, motherhood has a lot of nuances that a normal person cannot love.

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It is abnormal not to sleep for months, it is abnormal to admire the fact that “to poop in time” became the main topic of the day. You can not look at yourself tired and scary in the mirror and seriously talk about "the happiest period of life."

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However, so they say. And some moms do not lie. They are not very difficult, lucky with the child, there are helpers, the previous life does not attract. But those mothers who do not even deny, but just modestly keep silent on the questions “how are you?” - are there really “cuckoos” and “why was it necessary to give birth?”.

On this topic is not to say. Facebook is full of posts with photos of smiling mothers with children wearing funny hats and texts like “the first / happiest year has flown by like a day,” but almost no one honestly admits that you want to die from physical fatigue and moral tension. Although this can be a joke, ironic, let off steam, look for sympathizers and get advice. And most importantly, as a friend wrote, to understand that you are not the worst mother, but just a normal person. What you can most of all in the world love a child and at the same time want to be alone at times, forget about the schedule of vaccinations and not think at all if he fell asleep at meetings with her friends.

Read also:The story of first-hand: the second pregnancy with a baby in her arms

The total silence of tired moms reminds one of the episodes of the series "Friends." Chandler's character has long and diligently concealed that he does not like puppies. Because not to love small and cute puppies is a sentence. But what a dislike for puppies in comparison with the desire to escape from their own "such a pretty" child?
It’s not worth waiting for our society to allow women not to squeal with the happiness of the first months of motherhood. In such matters it does not take the first steps, but reluctantly digests what it is aggressively offered. Perhaps this really requires special honest publications in the media. Perhaps - normal courses for pregnant women, where the "joy of contact with the greatest happiness - your baby" will be less, and about "look for helpers / money for a nanny" - more. Courses where they tell that most of the popes will mimic the furniture for the first year under the furniture in the hope of remaining unnoticed. And this is not a reason for divorce, but a large piece of work. Too heavy.

And most importantly, expectant mothers need to say bluntly that it is not at all necessary to love the entire list of duties that will have to be dragged along. It is enough just to carry them out in good faith. This is already set off. A smile on his face - optional.For those who are really fun.

In the extreme case, in contrast to the “natural moms”, you can gather in “packs” (I always wanted to name large groups of mothers with strollers in parks) and hold group sessions. "Hello. My name is Anya / Valya / Tanya and I am dead tired from my ever-screaming child. ”

Py Sy. Anyone who was scared: my daughter is 7 years old and, despite her busy life and chronic workaholism, she is the best thing that happened to me.

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  • Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal

    Honest opinion about motherhood: tired of the child is normal