Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

Adolescence is a special time in the life of every person. And often the problems that arise in adolescents during this period, cause a misunderstanding between the child and the parents, lead to isolation and depression. The mother of two children, the author of the children's blog, decided to share her own experience with her children and with readers from around the world about how to overcome all the upcoming difficulties of growing up and maturing of her own body.
I was a quiet, shy child. Very often, it was from the novels with which I read before bedtime that I learned how the world works. Even I had very little secrets in school: the case when I accidentally recorded in the corridor in the second grade, or how I hid in the toilet while the teacher checked additional tasks for which I never had enough time.

But these were minor issues that I myself could cope with.And then puberty began, and I began to doubt.

Read also:13 questions about sex that our children are afraid to ask us, but we must answer them

I talked to my parents. I told them about my girlfriend and that I got 97 points for a control math. I told them how much I enjoyed my English lessons, and how much I hated swimming.

But I was silent about the fact that they called me a punt, or that the tips of my hair were set on fire with a lighter. I did not say that my best friend was, in fact, my only friend. And as my popularity grew, my loneliness grew.

adolescence

They knew nothing about the boy,due toof which my heart, even with kindergarten, jumped out of my chest every time he looked at me. I did not say that all sixth graders, except me, had a bra and that I had to change clothes in the bathroom after gymnastics so that no one would see me.

I didn’t tell them that when I went for a swim, I put a T-shirt over a swimsuit, because short black hair began to grow at my hands, and of course I didn’t have a razor.

Read also:10 tips for parents how to find a common language with teens

I was silent about suspecting that there was a trail of bad smell behind me, and thatsomeoneleft a note on my desk with the advice to buy deodorant. I was afraid of the day when menstruation would begin, but I was also afraid that this day would never come.

So little by little, I myself overcame all ridicule and loneliness, secretly using Dad's deodorant, pulling the bra out of my mother's locker, gathering my will into a fist and buying a pack of razors - I still feel that calm from shaved armpits - and bravely met the beginning of menstruation.

Adolescence often makes children move away from their parents, despite the fact that during this period they especially need their support. Many other children talked easily with moms about underwear, shaving and deodorant. Why I could not do this is a question that is especially important for me now.

My son is 12 years old, and his skin is already starting to get fat, the hair on his legs is getting tougher and he begins to pay attention to the girls. We have a good, open relationship with him, he shares his thoughts and feelings with me, and sometimes he even asks about changes in his body. But he is a boy, and turning a boy into a boyfriend never causes ridicule in society.He probably will not have to deal with the sense of shame or desire that our daughters encounter when their bodies begin to change.

Young men face other obstacles. Of course, I am always glad to help, but I am glad that my husband can answer all his questions and provide full support.

adolescence

Now let's talk about my6 year olddaughters. I am already an experienced mother, so I know, before you blink an eye, she will start to grow up. And the very thought that she herself would have to go through this frightens me.

What can I do to make sure we are close enough? This question immediately reminds me of my childhood and my relationship with my mother, who was very open, loving and caring. Why then could I not have the courage to share my feelings with her?

Read also:5 psychological studies that will help the child survive the adolescent crisis

Perhaps the reason lies in her views on the relationship. She was so afraid that I would get pregnant and let my life downdue tothe guy that made me perceive my maturation as something shameful, not natural.

She shook her head disapprovingly, learning thatsomeoneof my classmates have a boyfriend or whatsomeonejust flirting with boys. If I allowed myself to become a teenager and calmly wear bras, and to get involved in boys (because they carried me away), she would have thought less of me. Only by hiding my changing body could I protect myself from my teenage impending doom.

But my daughter doesn’t look like me at all: she is brave, even a little impudent. It seems to me that it will cost her nothing to make new friends and deal with offenders. I admire how confidently she walks the world. But, nevertheless, I havesomefears about her transformation from a girl into a young woman.

Somehowthe other day, she admitted that there is a boy at school, from whose words she just melts. I was immediately alarmed, and the words of my mother rattled in my ears: “You're still small for this. Do not act like other girls who run after boys, otherwise it will end badly».

Instead of voicing all this, I told my daughter about my first love and assured me that we should not be afraid of these feelings.Perhaps, for me, growing up would have been easier if my mother had also reacted to my feelings with understanding. Perhaps I would then cease to be ashamed of my body and was able to restore order in my thoughts. Who knows ... But my children will never be afraid to come up and talk, knowing that they will be heard and understood, because nothing in the world can make me love them endlessly.

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  • Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty

    Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty Adolescence: a story about the shame of puberty